Secret Laboratory
Music, News, & Global Affairs
That’s exactly what he said when I showed him this picture; and while he might have wondered why anyone would marry a Megalodon shark, he kept his curiosity to himself. Apparently, you don’t ask too many questions when someone is paying you $200 an hour; instead, you just start drawing up papers and making...
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Anyone listening to Secret Laboratory Radio this weekend must have thought that they had tuned in an insane asylum, one which had been overrun by the patients and was being taken apart, piece by piece. It wasn’t pretty, nor was it professional, but sometimes three good friends owe it to themselves to get together...
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Huh. It’s been two weeks since I wrote my last column and I’ve accomplished very little, in either my professional or my personal life. Every day I think that I ought to write something … but then I find something to watch on Netflix, instead. And there’s YouTube, which is a vast wasteland of...
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In this video, Robert (KE6YDO), and his brother, Richard (KE6RJI), travel to Van Nuys, California from Pico Rivera by bus and rail to visit a friend, Pat Sullivan (KC6WZM), a ham radio operator who is donating some used bicycles to them so they have some form of transportation during their stay at Angels Motel...
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Editor’s Note: As the title of this article suggests, YDO takes this opportunity–and uses YouTube’s free service–to criticize the video giant’s seemingly unfair policies regarding what is and isn’t acceptable to publish. And while an entity such as YouTube, which is intended for all audiences, must adhere to certain standards of decency, we’re left...
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UPDATE: Mental Illness Redux – Behaviorist Mike Samsa Responds. I was having a heated discussion today about the somewhat contrived nature of modern psychology – at least fringe psychology. You see, as I understand things (with said understandings relatively biased and, I’ll admit, somewhat limited in an overall general way, so definitely...
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Editor’s Note: YDO beta tests the new Redbox streaming option and he has some constructive criticism. Below, another user shows us how to kill an RCA console TV using dry ice & YDO. Please go to http://www.youtube.com/user/ke6ydoCh2 and make a donation or click on the button below. Robert Martin, born sometime in 1961, began working...
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Editor’s Note: YDO appears as a guest on the radio show, Illogical Contraption. Update: No longer on fccfreeradio.com, Illogical Contraption can now be heard Sundays On a REAL radio station, Radio Valencia 87.9 FM in the San Francisco area! Please go to http://www.youtube.com/user/ke6ydoCh2 and make a donation or click on the button below. Robert Martin, born sometime in...
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Editor’s Note: In these videos, YDO wears a hat fashioned from a beer case and celebrates with RJI & Brian. Please go to http://www.youtube.com/user/ke6ydoCh2 and make a donation or click on the button below. Robert Martin, born sometime in 1961, began working at the age of 15 as a truck driver when his dad got...
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Editor’s Note: In this first video, YDO and RJI prove to us that the world is still here–and that Santa is real! Included afterwards are a number of previously unpublished videos. Please go to http://www.youtube.com/user/ke6ydoCh2 and make a donation or click on the button below. Robert Martin, born sometime in 1961, began working at the...
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It’s become almost commonplace to hear about mass shootings—they seem to happen all of the time, in a variety of settings ranging from schools to movie theaters to shopping malls. Friday morning, as I was getting a haircut, my barber mentioned that there had been a shooting in Connecticut, but he didn’t know any...
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In this video, YDO & RJI visit their beloved VW Rabbit in what will become its final resting place. Please go to http://www.youtube.com/user/ke6ydoCh2 and make a donation or click on the button below. Robert Martin, born sometime in 1961, began working at the age of 15 as a truck driver when his dad got too...
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It’s six o’clock in the morning here in Minnesota. Kim is sleeping and Josh went home hours ago … yet I’m haunted by our conversation from last night, which progressed from politics to religion to the events of 9/11. Josh, a man who introduced me to The Zeitgeist Movement, The Venus Project, and the...
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In this video, YDO & RJI come to grips with their ailing VW Rabbit. Please go to http://www.youtube.com/user/ke6ydoCh2 and make a donation or click on the button below. Robert Martin, born sometime in 1961, began working at the age of 15 as a truck driver when his dad got too drunk to drive. He was...
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Please go to http://www.youtube.com/user/cske6ydo and make a donation or click on the button below. Robert Martin, born sometime in 1961, began working at the age of 15 as a truck driver when his dad got too drunk to drive. He was in a motorcycle accident at 17, resulting in a coma. After recovering, Martin worked as...
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The last column that I wrote was churned out in a frenzy on November 6; it was started before the polls closed and by the time I was finished, Barack Obama had won a second term in the White House, seemingly without even trying. The whole thing was over by ten o’clock Central Time,...
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In this video, YDO shows us the proper way to smoke a reburn. Reburns are cigarettes that have been partially smoked and then discarded. Times are tough, and it’s important to be able to smoke a discarded cigarette without contracting some kind of disease like hepatitis. YDO shows us how. Please go to http://www.youtube.com/user/cske6ydo and make...
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Editor’s Note: YDO calls out a security guard at Wal-Mart, visits his favorite Del Taco, goes to the park, and gets some smokes. Please go to http://www.youtube.com/user/cske6ydo and make a donation. Robert Martin, born sometime in 1961, began working at the age of 15 as a truck driver when his dad got too drunk to drive....
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Editor’s Note: YDO shares his thoughts on the possibility of another civil war, McDonald’s, and his need for a trailer. Please go to http://www.youtube.com/user/cske6ydo and make a donation. Robert Martin, born sometime in 1961, began working at the age of 15 as a truck driver when his dad got too drunk to drive. He was in...
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Editor’s Note: Please go to http://www.youtube.com/user/cske6ydo and make a donation. Robert Martin, born sometime in 1961, began working at the age of 15 as a truck driver when his dad got too drunk to drive. He was in a motorcycle accident at 17, resulting in a coma. After recovering, Martin worked as a security guard and...
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Editor’s Note: This column was written while states were still reporting and before Obama was declared the winner. Congratulations and here’s to another four years! When I started this blog in June of 2011, it was designed to be a website to promote my books. It didn’t take me long to realize that about...
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Editor’s Note: YDO would like to bring Heal the Bay to your attention. He also has a new friend named Kelly who gives a shout out to her boyfriend all the way in Canada. Robert Martin, born sometime in 1961, began working at the age of 15 as a truck driver when his dad...
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Editor’s Note: Robert Martin, our West Coast correspondent, offers us some of his thoughts on Mitt Romney and the state of the nation in this video. If he seems a bit high strung, it’s because he and his brother are in dire financial straits. Please go to http://www.youtube.com/user/cske6ydo and make a donation. Robert Martin, born sometime...
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![Ed: “His [Romney's] visage reminds me of a cheap Halloween mask—the kind of thing that you could find hanging on a clearance rack in your local drugstore on the 31st as the sun goes down.”](http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/486796_10151088962303133_1907598490_n.jpg)
As you know, we streamed the second presidential debate live and will do the same with the next one. In case you missed any of them, we have all three debates available in their entirety—just follow this link. And the last one … well … it was worth watching. Mitt Romney outdid himself by...
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Editor’s Note: In case you missed them, here are the first four debates in their entirety. Continue checking in with Secret Laboratory for more 2012 political coverage. John T. Schmitz is the editor & publisher of Secret Laboratory; he is the founder of Maple Hills Press and has also freelanced as a writer and photographer,...
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For those of us here in Minnesota, winter is not quite over. May is half gone and a few hours ago, it was 40 degrees outside. I had the fireplace on and the space heater going. Then the sun came out, the temperature jumped about 30 degrees, and I had to open the windows.
These days we hear a lot of talk about Global Warming. Whether or not there is any truth to it remains to be seen—and frankly, it doesn't make a damned bit of difference either way. Climate change is real—warmer, colder, whatever—but it has nothing to do with us and we're never going to prevent it. And since we got a foot of snow last week and it's going to be 90 on Tuesday ... well ... I'm not sold on Global Warming. The weatherman can't even predict rain, let alone tell us whether or not we're facing an inferno and/or an ice age.
This weekend is the fishing opener. This means very little to me, as I never bother with a license anyway. It's also Mother's Day. Recently I've been bombarded by emails from an online florist, suggesting that I send Ex-wife #2 a beautiful bouquet.
Never in hell. Maybe if they had an option to have the arrangement stuffed with angry bees; but barring that ... no.
To hell with holidays and bees and everything else. For the last 24 hours, Terencio and I have been plotting the future of this magazine. He even wrote his column and published a couple of articles. The next order of business is for me to write something.
And I might. I have plenty to say—none of it important, of course—but a meandering essay with no direction whatsoever is probably the best way to ease back into my routine. Politics? Not to start. Not today.
And ... meh.
—John T. Schmitz
Publisher & Editor-in-Chief
Founder, Maple Hills Press
editor@secretlaboratory.org
"I wanted my own column in the sidebar ... but now I don't know what to do with it."
"But sure you do! You write in it! That is what most people who claim the moniker of writer would likely do."
"But what do I write?"
"The resolution to that parable, my friend, lies upon the path that you must seek."
"Who are you?! And where did you come from?!"
"I am...the part of you that is, and will be, in all that we are..."
Hello Lab!
The voices are becoming louder and the cries ever more commanding. I hear them and I am working the best I can to whip myself into some kind of respectable shape and take back my claim to authorship.
So, I have been signaled to action from the Lab's headquarters. There has been much waking from many deep slumbers and now the drowsiness is fading and the challenges of the day are dutifully materializing before my conscience in their daily summons to contest.
No fear, Secret Laboratory! Power down the Bat Beacon, John.
John. John? Wherefore art thou? Come quickly and hear ye: The Lab is scheduled to receive a bright and refreshing burst of content! I have plans for at least one new category: Network Security
In the recent weeks I have become familiar with penetration testing software such as Backtrack and Kali Linux. These are Linux based Operating Systems that are used by network security professionals for white hat constructive hacking; and network exploiting operators for black hat destructive hacking. Writers of Secret Laboratory are free to show interest in this new category if you so choose. I will be producing content regarding how to crack WEP/WPA/WPA2 wireless encryption and how to protect yourself from such attacks, for starters. It only gets interesting from there.
For those of you interested in preparing yourself for this new world of fun and adventure, I recommend you go ahead and get the tools: Kali Linux
It can be downloaded at - http://www.kali.org/downloads/
The Secret Laboratory is in the grueling process of churning old gears and installing new ones to bring life into our world of journalistic comedy and tragedy. Sink or swim, this boat is headed out to sea.
I'm headed off to write a column now that the voices in my head have stopped...
But I can't seem to find John.
John?
Oh shit. Really? He's in the bathroom? Again? Geez, I'm glad I didn't have whatever he did. Must have been the pills. I'm glad I only had the purple ones...
"Hey John! Can you reach the mini fridge from in there? I think I need another beer!"
—Terencio Safford
Editor, Secret Laboratory
terencio@secretlaboratory.org
