Tag Archive for Secret LAboratory

CIRCULATING TALES

by Mark A. Garcia • March 31, 2012 • 0 Comments

I drove a limo for a maniacal man Make a little bread was the general plan Where you headed was the question I asked most? When someone asked me back I was gone like a ghost I drove to Vegas met an old woman there Her eyes were wild she had perfect hair She…

by Robert Martin, KE6YDO • March 30, 2012 • 0 Comments

Editor’s Note: YDO, our West Coast correspondent, is currently camping in California and reporting on his experiences there. As can be expected, drugs and alcohol are a major part of this excursion–and if I wasn’t in Minnesota, I’d probably be getting loaded in the woods somewhere too. Robert Martin, born sometime in 1961, began working…

by John T. Schmitz • March 29, 2012 • 0 Comments

Poor old Newt Gingrich just doesn’t want to give up and admit that his campaign is over. Even after laying off a third of his staff, cutting back on travel, and meeting with the only ten people who have endorsed him (and hearing their doubts about the viability of his campaign), he is unwilling to…

by John T. Schmitz • March 27, 2012 • 0 Comments

The National Organization for Marriage (NOM) apparently wants to drive a wedge between homosexuals and racial minorities in an attempt to make those supporting gay marriage appear to be bigots. The story broke yesterday when certain confidential documents were unsealed in Maine by court order; in part, they say: Find, equip, energize and connect African…

by John T. Schmitz • March 22, 2012 • 0 Comments

I’d like to say that I’ve been neglecting my column and my responsibilities as the editor & publisher of this magazine because I’ve been busy with my next three books—or even a short story—but the truth is, I’ve been dividing my time pretty evenly between gutting my apartment and immersing myself in the nightmare that…

by Allen Tesch • March 20, 2012 • 0 Comments

Our meals were placed on the homemade wooden table by the wife as our host, right arm under the table and left hand slowly turning a beer bottle, continued to talk about his hogs. We’ve learned that if you travel freely and want to eat, you have to listen to stories. “Yes sir, hogging can…

by John T. Schmitz • March 14, 2012 • 0 Comments

It seems that the federal government is once again throwing away money on shit that no one needs—this time they are doling out billions of dollars in grants for small rural towns to purchase tanks and other armored vehicles … “just in case.” In case of what? In case a fight breaks out at the…

by Mike Nardine • March 10, 2012 • 0 Comments

Writing A Book? Don’t Forget Your Website! Writing a book or thinking about writing one? Already have one published or online? Then think seriously about getting yourself a domain name and a website. There is no better way of bringing your name and your book some great cheap publicity. The big guys are doing it.…

by Samantha Veldhouse • March 9, 2012 • 0 Comments

Once again North Dakota is buzzing around the internet; both pleasantly surprising the east and west coasts and reminding them of the simple life that is found in “flyover country”. Marilyn Hagerty and her column The EatBeat of the Grand Forks Herald have created an internet sensation with her most recent piece on Grand Forks’…

by John T. Schmitz • March 7, 2012 • 0 Comments

Yesterday was Super Tuesday. Unsurprisingly, Mitt Romney won in most states, Rick Santorum had a few narrow victories, and Newt Gingrich managed just one. Ron Paul, who has made it his lifelong mission to alienate both Republicans and Democrats, went home a loser; however, he remains steadfastly committed to wasting as much money as possible…

by Allen Tesch • March 6, 2012 • 0 Comments

Raccoons. Furry little imps, cute trouble makers of the suburban wildlife. Broken purr louts, eaters of garbage and dog food. They smell like the living dead, their black paws speak of necrosis. They say that the black face is like a mask, but I know the truth. One summer in high school I went away…

by John T. Schmitz • March 5, 2012 • 0 Comments

Advertisers and radio stations alike are dropping Rush Limbaugh’s show like a hot potato because of his recent decision to call Sandra Fluke a “slut” and “prostitute” after she appeared before members of Congress advocating the wider availability of contraceptives. I’ve received a lot of emails about this—and there is a petition circulating asking his advertisers to abandon…

by Shane Lindemoen • March 4, 2012 • 2 Comments

I must get something off of my chest and in print before I spiral into another six month non-productive, contemplative state. It wasn’t until I recently finished the Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins that I allowed myself time again to examine the state of affairs in fantasy fiction. What I found is entirely solipsistic, but…

by John T. Schmitz • February 29, 2012 • 0 Comments

The saddest news of the day is that Davy Jones, the lead singer of The Monkees, has died of a heart attack at 66. While The Monkees was never meant to be a “serious” band, they sold 50 million records and many of us have fond memories of watching their television show and listening to…

by Samantha Veldhouse • February 29, 2012 • 1 Comment

I had high expectations to write about the joys associated with my new iPhone this evening, but instead I hemmed and hawed about my endeavors in the online dating realm (if that’s what you want to call it) over at my blog http://intheveldhouse.blogspot.com/. Take a gander, if you’re curious about what kind of response a…

by Mike Nardine • February 26, 2012 • 0 Comments

As you can probably guess by the title, this article isn’t for those of you that already know what you’re going to do with your new web address. Maybe you intend to put a web site on it; maybe you were only looking for a personalized email address; in any case, you bought it with…

by Mike Nardine • February 24, 2012 • 0 Comments

The Kindle Improves On War and Peace! Makes it easier and more fun to read. I bought the book shown in the image above forty years ago. It weights almost three pounds. That’s a light-weight as paper copies of War and Peace go; five or six pounds would be more like it. I was a…

by Samantha Veldhouse • February 23, 2012 • 0 Comments

At the beginning of this month, I completed my 28th year of life. I also realized that this summer the class of 2002 is going to Facebook the shit out of each other in a vain attempt to organize get-togethers for high school reunions. Subtle jabs will be made at one another as we put…

by Allen Tesch • February 21, 2012 • 0 Comments

It’s less than a week away. The excitement is in the air. Can you feel it? It’s electric. The pageantry! The celebrity! The Oscars! I hope you forgive me if you enjoy the Oscars, but I’ve got better things to do than watch famous millionaires get drunk and hand out awards to each other. If…

by John T. Schmitz • February 17, 2012 • 1 Comment

Chris Christie, while looking forward to his role as Mitt Romney’s running mate in this year’s presidential election, has vetoed a bill in New Jersey that would have allowed same-sex couples to marry. Meanwhile, in Maryland, a similar bill is on track to clear the Senate and subsequently be signed by Governor Martin O’Malley. No…

by John T. Schmitz • February 16, 2012 • 0 Comments

Alexandra Michel, a University of Southern California researcher, says that we should feel bad for investment bankers because their unquenchable thirst for money and power leaves them hollow shells of human beings. According to her, they behave much like politicians—insomnia, alcoholism, heart palpitations, eating disorders and violent tempers are just a few of their common…

by Allen Tesch • February 15, 2012 • 0 Comments

Early afternoon is an awful time for shiraz, though I’m not sure if it’s the time of day or the wine. Nasty stuff, really. With an aftertaste that only moderately hints of household cleaner (which I suppose could be blamed on my drinking mug, but I never clean that). The whole thing tastes of being…

by John T. Schmitz • February 14, 2012 • 2 Comments

I haven’t written a column in ten days, which seems like a lifetime—and it is, come to think of it. When I cranked out my last dose of wisdom, I still had a wife and two kids to go home to; unfortunately, all of that changed on Super Sunday when my wife disappeared for about…

by Robert Martin, KE6YDO • February 14, 2012 • 0 Comments

Editor’s Note: Robert Martin, our West Coast correspondent, is fearful that his ex-wife might be out to do him in–and his brother, too. Well … why not? After all, it is Valentine’s Day. Robert Martin, born sometime in 1961, began working at the age of 15 as a truck driver when his…

by Mark A. Garcia • February 14, 2012 • 0 Comments

I used to have this dream of being on stage behind my set of drums, when all of a sudden I notice that the stage is at an angle, tilting downward. Everything is sliding forward—my chair, the cymbals, and all my drums. I’m trying to hold on and play at the same time, while the…

by Mark A. Garcia • February 10, 2012 • 0 Comments

Ray and I met because we both kicked rocks. We walked to school, kicked rocks all the way there, hid them and then kicked them back. We were doing this without the others knowledge at first. This was junior high school. We were both outsiders in school for some of the same reasons. Athletics was…