The Gay Pride weekend in Chicago is my favorite holiday of the entire year. Although I am a straight woman, I have gay friends and support people being exactly who they are. I strongly believe that politics need to get out of the bedroom and focus back on the people.
Every year I run the 5K and 10K run/walk event Proud to Run. I think this is my favorite event of the weekend because 1) it is proof that gays can be productive before brunch, 2) there’s nothing like having an all-male cheerleading squad cheer me across a finish line, and 3) for the past 2 years there has been a heavy-set lesbian a half-mile from the finish line yelling at every runner to “move your ass, bitch!” (where was she when I was training?). It is the happiest and most drama-free event I attend every year.
At the parade this year I was very surprised to hear people saying things like “no homo” as if that mattered to someone giving an innocent complement to another. People attend this parade to celebrate freedom and comfort with being whoever you were born to be, not to “no homo” around, that just sounds like a sample of homophobia. A complement is a complement, just say thank you and move on.
Single straight guys, if you want to meet a nice lady, I actually suggest you hitting up Boystown with a group of friends. If you are a straight guy in Boystown, you have gold, sir. All the gay guys know you are straight- they can smell you Axe body spray from a mile away. If you meet a pretty lady in Boystown, she probably has her guard down and is a little more likely to be a lot more comfortable with her body. It is totally fine to identify yourself to a girl you are interested in as being straight. She will most likely appreciate that and have deep respect for you. Oh, he is laid back and comfortable with his sexuality. Some gay men are a little aggressive and because you are a cool and handsome guy, they make advances on you. At this moment, do not identify to him that you are straight, some guys (and this is everywhere) are just plain creepy. In this event, pout your lips and shoot him an I’m-too-hot-and-you-don’t-have-a-chance look. It works every time.
Beth Casey spreads smiles like they’re herpes. When she is not pretending to work at her “day job”, she is hiding out with the skeletons in your closet. Contact Beth at email@example.com