the greatest (for the most part) countries in the world, that probably makes me abnormal, or at the very least Un-American. Really, who doesn’t like sports in the good ole USA? Probably just me and some random terrorist who wants to blow something up. Wait…the terrorist probably loves soccer, so that pretty much just leaves me, the sport-hating, abnormal, Un-American fool. Sports aren’t the only thing I dislike. I don’t watch the Oscars, the MTV Music Awards, The Grammys, and God forbid, American Idol. I’ve probably already been dammed to Hell for the American Idol thing.
Ok, I’m getting off the subject, so back to sports. It seems that the London 2012 Olympics will be opening with the passing of the torch on Friday. The Olympics have so much awe and splendor that I will probably become nauseous, so I guess that I will have to skip that one. Not to say that I wouldn’t be following the Olympics via the news. No, I really don’t give a crap who gets the gold, silver, or even a plastic necklace. I am more interested in the possibility of something catastrophic happening. Don’t be worried folks, I not that ABNORMAL and UN-AMERICAN. I am just curious. Mainly because my son and his conspiracy-nut friends believe the illuminati have something heinous planned to bring about the New World Order.
Once again, no, I am not waiting for something awful to happen, but instead just curious to see if my son and his ding-a-lings are actually right. Maybe they will be totally wrong and it will be like Ronald Poppo and the “Miami Zombie”. The 100-meter dash will now be called the “run-for-your-fucking-ife-dash”.
Why not!
Will something happen in London? It’s hard to tell. I’m not going to beat myself up over it and worry, which is exactly what I did after 9/11. I was petrified that something worse was going to happen and disrupt the lives of me and my family. Now, I don’t care if something happens to me, but I worry about my kids. It’s the Mother in me. Yeah, I worry about my family. If I get blown up, it’s no big deal. My kids and granddaughter on the other hand, I will do the menopause jihad and KICK SOME FUCKING ASS! Nobody messes with a Momma’s babies; I don’t care how old they are!
So, back to sports…. It’s not like I was brought up in a house devoid of sports, my Dad always rooted for the Green Bay Packers (he was from Wisconsin) and the hubby likes the Kansas City Chiefs (yes, they suck, I know). I was even a cheerleader for 9th grade basketball. After 9th grade though, that was it. Yes, I still went to the games, but it was to sneak some beer and check out the hot guys. Since I wasn’t very popular though, the hot guys rarely looked at me. The geeks didn’t either. Sorry Honey, I should have married a geek. I guarantee you they make lots of money!
Well, I honestly do hope that the 2012 Summer Olympics goes off without a beat from either terrorism or attacks of zombies. Now if it’s zombies, I hope that Shawn of the Dead is there to save the fucking day. In the words of Shawn of the: Dead, Zombie Killer, FUCK-A-DOODLE-DO!” (IMBD,).
Reference:
IMDB. (n.d.). Shaun of the dead . Retrieved from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0365748/quotes
Michele Peterson-Rufener
Michele Peterson-Rufener is Secret Laboratory’s Home & Health Editor. Michele is a former advertising sales representative and a freelance writer; she is currently seeking a degree in marketing and is a columnist for Examiner.com. Read Michele’s blog at http://happyblonde.wordpress.com/.
Email Michele at michele@secretlaboratory.org.
“Menopause jihad” – love it! Great story. And organized sports (and all of those other ‘American’ things you listed) are for sheeple. I don’t hope for major disaster at the Olympics, mostly because I’d like to visit London again someday, but it also wouldn’t really phase me at this point. That’s just our world now, like it or not.
Glad you liked it Patti! I don’t want anything to happen either, but it wouldn’t phase me either.
It’s nice having a tab open that screams FUCK and then have my wife ask what the hell I am looking at. I don’t care about sports either but get to make money off them so I would say i tolerate the spectacle.
I guess my post worked! Tell Amanda that I am really not that crazy.