I finally ordered an electronic cigarette kit from http://www.v2cigs.com/ last night. Hopefully, I’ll be able to use it to replace my chewing tobacco before I develop big holes in my face. The thing has already shipped, so I expect it to arrive within the next couple of days. As soon as it does, I’ll post a review here for anyone who is interested.

Michele Bachmann’s name is all over the headlines today; unfortunately for her, none of the news is good. For instance, a recent poll in South Carolina shows her trailing behind Herman Cain, a candidate who even his own family doesn’t take seriously; what’s worse, is that Sarah Palin beat her, and she’s not even running. And if Bachmann can’t make it in South Carolina, she might as well pack up and go home.

According to the Star Tribune: “South Carolina, with its strong base of evangelical voters, was once seen as fertile ground for Bachmann. According to the Winthrop poll, almost 75 percent of Republicans and Republican-leaners there say the term ‘Socialist’ describes the president well or very well; 36% say he was definitely or probably born in another country; and nearly 30% say Obama’s a Muslim.”

Well … shit. To me, that sounds like just the kind of place where a nut like Michele Bachmann could feel comfortable in. Only she would go on radio station WLS in Chicago and say that everyone should keep every dollar that they earn, and to hell with taxes. Go here to listen to the interview.

She’s like a one-woman sideshow—even her own people can’t believe what she says in public. When USA Today called it “appallingly irresponsible” and unworthy of a presidential candidate (Bachmann) to spread fears about the HPV vaccine and link it to mental retardation, Ed Rollins, Bachmann’s former campaign manager, responded: “Absolutely fair criticism.”

“We tried to vet everything that was told to her,” Rollins continued. “That obviously wasn’t vetted.”

In other words, the candidate cannot be trusted to go anywhere near a microphone without first being given a script by her handlers, which perhaps explains why she dodges questions and repeats herself constantly, only pausing now and then to spit out one of her own colossal blunders.

Mr. Rollins has tacitly admitted that Michele Bachmann is nowhere near ready to tackle a bid for the White House, saying, “Her entire political career has been really in one area of Minnesota. She doesn’t have the ability or the resources to go beyond Iowa at this point in time.”

But what the hell, right? I just got done saying that she couldn’t even beat Herman Cain in a place like South Carolina, so she might as well stick to her hometown. Unfortunately, that might be a problem, too—even mush-mouthed Iowans are beginning to doubt Bachmann, but only because they don’t think she’s crazy enough.

Poor old Michele Bachmann. Even Jay Leno called her a liar on The Tonight Show last Friday.

Bachmann agrees with Mitch McConnell when it comes to billionaire Warren Buffett: they feel that rather than reforming the tax code so that he and his buddies pay something resembling their fair share, he should just write a check.

They’re missing the point.

When it comes to Obama’s debt plan, Bachmann condemned it as “warfare on the millions of small businesses, on charities and on middle class America with increased tax burdens.”

Well … now I’m going to call her a liar. The American Jobs Act offers tax breaks to small businesses—and the only increases are for the rich, not middle-class Americans. She has either never read the fucking thing or just doesn’t care, because it’s contrived bullshit like this that people hear parroted on Fox News that drives them to vote for Republicans in the first place.

Jesus Christ. I see that I’ve devoted this entire column to that dingbat and she isn’t even going to make it to the first primary. I really should be concentrating on Romney and Perry—or just Perry—but I have somewhat of a personal grudge against Michele Bachmann, namely that she represents Minnesota in Congress.

Blech. Here’s your wisdom: