The Vikings fooled us again: they were ahead until the bitter end—and then in the last minute of the final quarter, they were beaten stupid by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, losing 24 – 20. So, I changed the channel and checked on the Twins, who were leading the Cleveland Indians 3 – 1. I told my wife to give them a minute or two to goof it up. Never ones to disappoint, they did exactly that—and now the Indians are ahead 6 – 3.
Being a Minnesota sports fan is about on par with being a Democrat, which is to say that you’re a sure loser, you know it, and you see nothing wrong with admitting it. It seems that I’ve made that analogy before and it still holds up.
Mitch “Michelangelo” McConnell received top billing on Meet the Press this morning. Incredibly, Bill Clinton had to wait his turn. Neither man said anything that surprised me; however, it was telling to see that screwy, sleepy-eyed tortoise struggle to keep a straight face as he scoffed at uninsured Americans and other undesirables. Every time he avoided a question, told a lie, or just said something dumb, I found myself crying out: “Ninja, please!”
President Obama continues his doomed attempt to make millionaires (0.3% of taxpayers) cough up their fair share; he is now calling it the “Buffett Rule,” in a reference to Warren E. Buffett, the billionaire investor who has complained repeatedly that the richest Americans generally pay a smaller share of their income in federal taxes than do middle-income workers, because investment gains are taxed at a lower rate than wages.
Tricky Mitch told Dick Gregory that Mr. Buffett could go fly a kite and if that old bastard feels guilty around tax time … well … he should just write a check and stop making trouble for all the rest of the rich cocksuckers who don’t have a heart.
Meanwhile, John Boehner crossed his fingers just in case and said that he’ll raise taxes when they find a cure for cancer; he prefers instead to cut funding for benefit programs like Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security.
There was a bit of good news out of California today: Ron Paul won the straw poll in that state with Rick Perry trailing a dismal second; the rest of the candidates scored so low that their individual numbers are unimportant. If I was able to choose the nominee for 2012, Mr. Paul would be that man. He has called for the audit and eventual dismantling of the Federal Reserve, which is our only chance of turning our economy around—something that the other candidates refuse to even acknowledge.
And now it’s the bottom of the ninth inning and Cleveland is still ahead by one run. I’m going to have to wrap this up and go down to the garage soon, where my friend and I will spend an hour or two tinkering with my wife’s van. As for this evening, perhaps I’ll watch a couple of movies and see how much work I can get done on my new book.
Well, it’s official: the Twins lost, 6 – 5.
Here’s your wisdom: