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CHEAP MIKE TOURS LONDON ENGLAND

April 10, 2012
By

Friday, March 30, 2012
Cheap Mike Tours London, England!

Pay-per-click hasn’t been working that well lately for Cheap Mike. Since Mike always tries to do his best by the economy and spend money, he turned to look for a new advertising source. His good friend AN-G, the Vietnamese entrepreneur, suggested using Fiverr.com

cheapmikesvanadFor those of you not in the know, Fiverr.com is an online employment brokerage which dares people to offer jobs–called gigs– for five dollars. I say “dare” because some of the gigs are pretty ludicrous. I mean it takes guts to offer to write “I love you” on your upper and lower lip, magnify it 10 times and send it to somebody else’s significant other. Some of the gigs however–particularly the advertising gigs–seemed just right for a cheapo like Cheap Mike. The first advertising gig Cheap Mike fell for was a week of his logo touring London, England on the side of a white van.

How, you ask, did that London, England gig work for Cheap Mike? Well, it didn’t immediately bring in any money, if that’s your question. But then with advertising, sometimes only time will tell. It was fun to know Cheap Mike was getting a look at London even if I never will, and If Kate, the lovely Duchess of Cambridge, ever buys a domain from Cheap Mike it will have certainly been worth the five dollars!

The next gig Cheap Mike went for was a radio ad. The gentleman offering the 5$ gig would write up a professional ad using the information provided by the buyer. Cheap Mike sent him the info and got back a fine-looking ad. Unfortunately Cheap Mike has had even less training making radio announcements than he has writing ads–no problemo, the same gentleman, having worked in radio for years, offered to speak the ad as well for another 5 bucks. Another winner: I wish I could figure out how to add audio to this blog so the reader could be as impressed as I am.

Cheap Mike’s next mission was to find a radio station that would play the ad–again for 5 bucks. And again no problem; there were several online stations promising to do that for as long as a week or more. In fact, ClubCountryRadio out of OK city promised to do it for two weeks, five times a day. Oh, sure, it would have been great to put the ad on a regular local station, but the going price for that is $25 per announcement or $1750 for the same thing I got for $5.

How much business did this experiment bring me? I don’t know yet. But since the total cost came to less than $30 I got my money’s worth in education.

Michael Nardine

Michael Nardine

As should be made obvious by the accompanying photo, Mike Nardine (aka Cheap Mike) is plain vanilla and old as dirt. He is Secret Laboratory’s Technology Editor and has been writing since before the invention of the electric typewriter. His first computer was a 1kb Sinclair; his love-affair with computers began with a Kaypro. He has sold short stories to women’s magazines and has published several books, which are available in Amazon’s Kindle Store. Mr. Nardine has also written a whole slug of book reviews, play reviews, news articles, and consumer-tech stuff for various ezines and The Reader Weekly of Duluth, Minnesota. He presently lives in Rochester, Minnesota with his wife of many years and a fifteen-year-old Jack Russel Terrier named Chloe. Still writing as he circles the drain, he also sells domains and web hosting at CheapMikes.com. Visit Mike and view all of his titles at booksonkindle.com.

Email Mr. Nardine at michaelnardine@secretlaboratory.org.

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EDITOR’S COLUMN

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"I wanted my own column in the sidebar ... but now I don't know what to do with it."

"But sure you do! You write in it! That is what most people who claim the moniker of writer would likely do."

"But what do I write?"

"The resolution to that parable, my friend, lies upon the path that you must seek."

"Who are you?! And where did you come from?!"

"I am...the part of you that is, and will be, in all that we are..."

Hello Lab!

The voices are becoming louder and the cries ever more commanding. I hear them and I am working the best I can to whip myself into some kind of respectable shape and take back my claim to authorship.

So, I have been signaled to action from the Lab's headquarters. There has been much waking from many deep slumbers and now the drowsiness is fading and the challenges of the day are dutifully materializing before my conscience in their daily summons to contest.

No fear, Secret Laboratory! Power down the Bat Beacon, John.

John. John? Wherefore art thou? Come quickly and hear ye: The Lab is scheduled to receive a bright and refreshing burst of content! I have plans for at least one new category: Network Security

In the recent weeks I have become familiar with penetration testing software such as Backtrack and Kali Linux. These are Linux based Operating Systems that are used by network security professionals for white hat constructive hacking; and network exploiting operators for black hat destructive hacking. Writers of Secret Laboratory are free to show interest in this new category if you so choose. I will be producing content regarding how to crack WEP/WPA/WPA2 wireless encryption and how to protect yourself from such attacks, for starters. It only gets interesting from there.

For those of you interested in preparing yourself for this new world of fun and adventure, I recommend you go ahead and get the tools: Kali Linux
It can be downloaded at - http://www.kali.org/downloads/

The Secret Laboratory is in the grueling process of churning old gears and installing new ones to bring life into our world of journalistic comedy and tragedy. Sink or swim, this boat is headed out to sea.

I'm headed off to write a column now that the voices in my head have stopped...

But I can't seem to find John.

John?

Oh shit. Really? He's in the bathroom? Again? Geez, I'm glad I didn't have whatever he did. Must have been the pills. I'm glad I only had the purple ones...

"Hey John! Can you reach the mini fridge from in there? I think I need another beer!"

—Terencio Safford
Editor, Secret Laboratory
terencio@secretlaboratory.org

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Secret Laboratory is an online entertainment magazine for Music, News, & Global Affairs; it is published in the USA by Maple Hills Press.

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