Secret Laboratory
Music, News, & Global Affairs
365 days a year, Wal-Mart sleepers leave behind their toxic hazardous waste after spending the night. Some “sleepers” have been observed months prior to this report dumping feces into a Wal-Mart parking lot storm drain, which leads to area city beaches. Robert Martin, Secret Laboratory reporter, shows us a typical morning after all the...
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Editor’s Note: Since making this video, Del Taco has rescinded their No Trespass Order against YDO and RJI. A new video, in which YDO extends his gratitude, will be coming soon, along with a copy of the email that Secret Laboratory received from Del Taco. For now, enjoy some of YDO’s wisdom. Robert Martin, born...
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So there is a video for this, but when I was playing it “Goddamnit” came out of my mouth so much I feared that I’d be cursed. I will instead talk of it, and you can watch me suffer. Imagine vulgarity every time the screen gets staticy. …and no, I did not cry like...
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Pico Rivera, CA–On the morning of August 17, 2012, Secret Laboratory reporter, Robert Martin (KE6YDO), and his cameraman/brother, Richard Martin (KE6RJI), were in a Del Taco located at 8650 Washington Boulevard Pico Rivera, CA 90660 drinking coffee. An unidentified woman came in and approached them at their table and said, “I remember you guys...
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This afternoon I witnessed a couple and their child at the exit of the Wal-Mart in Pico Rivera, California; they were in the parking lot, carrying a sign, and asking for donations from a Wendy’s restaurant window located on the same property. I thought it would be a good idea if I could get...
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YDO and his cameraman/brother point out vehicles in the Wal-Mart parking lot that are occupied by the homeless who park their cars to sleep in on a nightly basis. Some of these homeless “sleepers,” as they are called (even by security), have been doing this for years every night after sundown in front of...
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Editor’s Note: In this video, we see YDO living in his car. I think this was actually filmed at the end of July. I sure hope so, because as far as I know, YDO is once again a resident of Angels Motel. Nevertheless, please consider going to http://www.youtube.com/user/cske6ydo and making a donation. Robert Martin, born sometime...
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Weeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m just having some fun with special effects to simulate a drugged-out experience without being drugged-up! OK? Does it look like I’m drugged up? If yes, good! Robert Martin, born sometime in 1961, began working at the age of 15 as a truck driver when his dad got too drunk to drive. He...
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In this video report Robert Martin, KE6YDO extols the benefits of medical marijuana for the relief of pain from arthritis and other injuries. He also discusses the possibility of a secret “shadow government” and his theory as to why the United States government doesn’t want U.S. citizens to consume cannabis (aka “marijuana”) and Social...
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Editor’s Note: Our intrepid reporter, YDO, starts his morning in today’s first video by sending his warmest regards to one of his fans and friends: “Kristen, you look really good when you’re on drugs.” He then has a chance to meet another Facebook friend/fan, Ed Gordon, in today’s second video. In the third video,...
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Editor’s Note: Our West Coast correspondent, YDO, needs your help. He is currently on the streets on California and needs money for food–and a hotel room would be nice. In this video, he brings us up to speed on his situation and gives https://www.sugarsync.com/ a “big fuck yes.” Please go to http://www.youtube.com/user/cske6ydo and make a donation now to...
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Editor’s Note: YDO and his brother are in dire straits–at least until the first of the month rolls around. Currently they are on the streets of California and scraping together whatever change they can for their next meal. In these four videos, you’ll see two of those meals and a heartfelt message from YDO...
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Low on food, money, diesel and a front wheel bearing going out on their car, Robert Martin, KE6YDO and his cameraman brother, KE6RJI are once again out on the streets of Pico Rivera, California; they are struggling to keep their car running and get enough food to eat to make it to next month....
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Editor’s Note: As bad as Angels Motel is–you can see YDO being threatened in this first video–it’s still better than being on the street. Please visit YDO at http://www.youtube.com/user/cske6ydo and donate something–anything–today. This is important and we’d like to see everyone chip in to help Robert and Martin stay at Angels. Robert Martin, born sometime in...
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YDO doubts Romney can lead without Mormon constraints affecting executive decisions if elected into office. YDO also questions Romney’s claim he left his business yet he was still listed on the payroll 3 YEARS LATER as he takes a bite out of dirty politics and his Sunday afternoon tuna sandwich. Robert Martin, born sometime...
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Editor’s Note: In this video, our West Coast correspondent fails to use his press credentials–and the story he’s chasing makes a clean getaway. But what the hell, right? At least he Skypes with some guy. Robert Martin, born sometime in 1961, began working at the age of 15 as a truck driver when his...
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I’m a medical marijuana patient here in California; I like to share the FUN part of medicating with all of you! The marijuana & alcohol combo works wonders in relieving all my pains for … never mind, it’s all doctor approved, including the alcohol. It’s far less evil than all the opiate-based pain killers I...
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Well let me start out by thanking Laura Gerald for the guided tour, which helped immensely. Also Id like to thank the Gaylaxicon party and the “save the princess” party for answering some questions for this article. Kiki Snell, Chris Bechtold, Kendra Petros, and of course, that stand up group that handed me a...
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President Obama’s campaign, for the most part, has been negative against Romney so far. I wish he would return to running a positive campaign like he did in 2008 against McCain. Hope and change never go out of style! –Tom Bullington, National Affairs Correspondent Political analysis–from a car! Campaign in a Car is a discussion of...
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Do we really need political parties in the United States? They seem to further divide our country and candidates must adopt their party’s platform before getting money or political support. We don’t need parties in local elections – why can’t we get rid of them in other races, such as state legislature, Congress and...
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Fine dining in Story City! On the road with my mom in Iowa for the weekend. West Des Moines, here we come! –Tom Bullington, National Affairs Correspondent Political analysis–from a car! Campaign in a Car is a discussion of current events, the 2012 presidential election–and analysis of the Republicans, Democrats, and Independent candidates. We feature other...
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Fox News says LOWER gas prices are bad news – and evidence that President Obama is “failing” as president. But a few months ago, they said HIGHER gas prices were evidence he’s doing a poor job. Which is it? And what exactly can the president do about fluctuating gas prices? –Tom Bullington, National...
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Editor’s Note: Our Gaming editor, Josh Flaherty, shares this video on AniMinneapolis, 2012. Josh Flaherty is an independent game designer from Minneapolis, MN and owner of Queuethulu Games LLC. He has worked on independent video games since 2003 and is passionate about the art of games, unique stories, and long walks down dark alleys. Visit...
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Editor’s Note: In this video, our intrepid reporter, YDO, takes us on a walking tour of Pico Rivera, California; he points out the places to frequent, the ones to avoid, and what’s wrong with them. Robert Martin, born sometime in 1961, began working at the age of 15 as a truck driver when his...
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Back by popular demand – gun control! I think our society would be more safe if fewer people had automatic weapons and handguns. I haven’t yet heard a legitimate argument in favor of average citizens having these types of weapons. Gun control is needed in the United States! –Tom Bullington, National Affairs Correspondent ...
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For those of us here in Minnesota, winter is not quite over. May is half gone and a few hours ago, it was 40 degrees outside. I had the fireplace on and the space heater going. Then the sun came out, the temperature jumped about 30 degrees, and I had to open the windows.
These days we hear a lot of talk about Global Warming. Whether or not there is any truth to it remains to be seen—and frankly, it doesn't make a damned bit of difference either way. Climate change is real—warmer, colder, whatever—but it has nothing to do with us and we're never going to prevent it. And since we got a foot of snow last week and it's going to be 90 on Tuesday ... well ... I'm not sold on Global Warming. The weatherman can't even predict rain, let alone tell us whether or not we're facing an inferno and/or an ice age.
This weekend is the fishing opener. This means very little to me, as I never bother with a license anyway. It's also Mother's Day. Recently I've been bombarded by emails from an online florist, suggesting that I send Ex-wife #2 a beautiful bouquet.
Never in hell. Maybe if they had an option to have the arrangement stuffed with angry bees; but barring that ... no.
To hell with holidays and bees and everything else. For the last 24 hours, Terencio and I have been plotting the future of this magazine. He even wrote his column and published a couple of articles. The next order of business is for me to write something.
And I might. I have plenty to say—none of it important, of course—but a meandering essay with no direction whatsoever is probably the best way to ease back into my routine. Politics? Not to start. Not today.
And ... meh.
—John T. Schmitz
Publisher & Editor-in-Chief
Founder, Maple Hills Press
editor@secretlaboratory.org
"I wanted my own column in the sidebar ... but now I don't know what to do with it."
"But sure you do! You write in it! That is what most people who claim the moniker of writer would likely do."
"But what do I write?"
"The resolution to that parable, my friend, lies upon the path that you must seek."
"Who are you?! And where did you come from?!"
"I am...the part of you that is, and will be, in all that we are..."
Hello Lab!
The voices are becoming louder and the cries ever more commanding. I hear them and I am working the best I can to whip myself into some kind of respectable shape and take back my claim to authorship.
So, I have been signaled to action from the Lab's headquarters. There has been much waking from many deep slumbers and now the drowsiness is fading and the challenges of the day are dutifully materializing before my conscience in their daily summons to contest.
No fear, Secret Laboratory! Power down the Bat Beacon, John.
John. John? Wherefore art thou? Come quickly and hear ye: The Lab is scheduled to receive a bright and refreshing burst of content! I have plans for at least one new category: Network Security
In the recent weeks I have become familiar with penetration testing software such as Backtrack and Kali Linux. These are Linux based Operating Systems that are used by network security professionals for white hat constructive hacking; and network exploiting operators for black hat destructive hacking. Writers of Secret Laboratory are free to show interest in this new category if you so choose. I will be producing content regarding how to crack WEP/WPA/WPA2 wireless encryption and how to protect yourself from such attacks, for starters. It only gets interesting from there.
For those of you interested in preparing yourself for this new world of fun and adventure, I recommend you go ahead and get the tools: Kali Linux
It can be downloaded at - http://www.kali.org/downloads/
The Secret Laboratory is in the grueling process of churning old gears and installing new ones to bring life into our world of journalistic comedy and tragedy. Sink or swim, this boat is headed out to sea.
I'm headed off to write a column now that the voices in my head have stopped...
But I can't seem to find John.
John?
Oh shit. Really? He's in the bathroom? Again? Geez, I'm glad I didn't have whatever he did. Must have been the pills. I'm glad I only had the purple ones...
"Hey John! Can you reach the mini fridge from in there? I think I need another beer!"
—Terencio Safford
Editor, Secret Laboratory
terencio@secretlaboratory.org
