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Shane Lindemoen

Shane Lindemoen is an American author, journalist, and recluse; he is also the National Affairs Editor of Secret Laboratory. Shane is a self-described “poor white boy from the east side who happens to read about politics and stuff.” He has a new sci-fi novel set for an 8/13/13 release called Artifact - published by Boxfire Press. You can follow Shane on facebook: www.facebook.com/shanelindem - or subscribe to his blog at www.shanelindemoen.org. E-mail Shane at shanelindemoen@secretlaboratory.org.

Web Site: http://www.shanelindemoen.com/


An Impassioned Case for Why Predator Was One of The Greatest Films Ever Made.

April 23, 2013
An Impassioned Case for Why Predator Was One of The Greatest Films Ever Made.

Beware, dear reader: spoilers ahead. In October 1929, on a Black Tuesday that marked the depth of what economist Irvine Fisher described as the “great plateau,” foreshadowing some pretty heinous irony, (or in other words, embedding what Welles would have described as an excellent plot catalyst) Orson Welles was probably examining the ideal life,...
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Good News: You’re a Cosmic Domino

April 6, 2013
Good News: You’re a Cosmic Domino

  (Despite my better judgment I felt the need to pull a comment from a recent email I received, which addressed my common use of the word determinism) Cite the exclamation, to whom I felt compelled to respond. “Time is movement. Nature doesn’t determine it. The only thing up for debate is the decision...
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Idea Fodder for the Prospective Storyteller: My Top Five Most Fascinating Scientific Mysteries.

March 12, 2013
Idea Fodder for the Prospective Storyteller: My Top Five Most Fascinating Scientific Mysteries.

  Writing fiction is an artistic expression, and like most artistic expressions it relies for much of its essence on a lot of common patterns that both the reader and the writer can recognize. That’s sometimes the best part of observing art: trying to understand the messages behind the expressions. With fiction, there’s a...
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Mental Illness Redux – Behaviorist Mike Samsa Responds.

February 10, 2013
Mental Illness Redux – Behaviorist Mike Samsa Responds.

  Before you start reading this, you may want to first check out Creating Mental Illness, One Student at a Time for some context. I’m a firm believer in the idea that mistakes are opportunities in disguise – I mean, as long as they don’t result in the irreversible maiming of innocents, or the inadvertent destruction...
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Creating Mental Illness, One Student at a Time.

February 9, 2013
Creating Mental Illness, One Student at a Time.

  UPDATE:  Mental Illness Redux – Behaviorist Mike Samsa Responds.   I was having a heated discussion today about the somewhat contrived nature of modern psychology – at least fringe psychology. You see, as I understand things (with said understandings relatively biased and, I’ll admit, somewhat limited in an overall general way, so definitely...
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The Lion King is Anti-American, and Other Fun Reviews I found on Amazon

January 16, 2013
The Lion King is Anti-American, and Other Fun Reviews I found on Amazon

  I was parsing the quality of some movies with a friend a few days ago. You know how it goes – us consumers often measure things against the standards by which all other things of equal categorization are judged – books to books, music to music, cars to cars, apples to oranges, and…...
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Californian Drives Alone in Carpool Lane, Challenges Citizens United. The Lesson? Irony’s a Bitch.

January 7, 2013
Californian Drives Alone in Carpool Lane, Challenges Citizens United. The Lesson? Irony’s a Bitch.

Here’s a bit of mildly interesting mélange of events for you. First, it goes without saying that the Citizens United decision gets smellier the longer it remains unflushed in the toilet of our legislative process. My opinion, for what it’s worth, is that the largest businesses should be recognized as part of the legislative...
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This is How the World Ends: How our apocalyptic fixations may be affecting our culture.

March 4, 2012
This is How the World Ends: How our apocalyptic fixations may be affecting our culture.

I must get something off of my chest and in print before I spiral into another six month non-productive, contemplative state. It wasn’t until I recently finished the Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins that I allowed myself time again to examine the state of affairs in fantasy fiction. What I found is entirely solipsistic,...
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The Fear-Forged Manacle: Using the principles of game theory to determine whether or not there will be war with Iran.

January 23, 2012
The Fear-Forged Manacle: Using the principles of game theory to determine whether or not there will be war with Iran.

“A little and a little, collected together, becomes a great deal; the heap in the barn consists of single grains, and drop by drop makes an inundation.” -Old Arab Proverb  “In terms of game-theory, we might say the universe is so constituted as to maximize play. The best games are not those in which...
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Degrees of Censorship

January 20, 2012
Degrees of Censorship

“There is all the difference in the world between the criminal’s avoiding the public eye and the civil disobedience between an open violation of the law, performed in public, and a clandestine one is so glaringly obvious that it can be neglected only by prejudice or ill will.” -Hannah Arendt   “The First Amendment...
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The Emperor of All Good Feelings: An objective look into the decriminalization of marijuana.

December 26, 2011
The Emperor of All Good Feelings: An objective look into the decriminalization of marijuana.

“All institutions are prone to corruption and to the vices of their members.” -Morris West  “But eradicating corruption is not enough to sustain a country.” -Eduard Shevardnadze   One might mention the conspicuous way in which a Russian-born, Georgian statesman could finish West’s sentence like that, such as the state-appointed censor, the enterprising owner,...
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Know Nothing Isolationists: How subversive ignorance is eroding the body politic.

December 21, 2011
Know Nothing Isolationists: How subversive ignorance is eroding the body politic.

“The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt   “The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to...
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Mount Airy

December 20, 2011
Mount Airy

1 His heart stopped – he believed it stopped. So he watched his younger brother ride away and, benumbed, he headed for home. He passed two drug-stores sold out of newspapers. Then he stopped at the third because anything left wasn’t news. It was morning. He grabbed the paper and paid the quarter, half of what...
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Lucretius

December 20, 2011
Lucretius

Then: Once alive, your heart shall come across regret, which is living by its own standard. Her sister Alice, for example, would taunt her until she took another drink. Her heart would slip on the fiery platforms for respect and admiration. Most of her would be faded, inebriated on the carpet, her throat pushing back hot...
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EDITOR’S COLUMN

1
"I wanted my own column in the sidebar ... but now I don't know what to do with it."

"But sure you do! You write in it! That is what most people who claim the moniker of writer would likely do."

"But what do I write?"

"The resolution to that parable, my friend, lies upon the path that you must seek."

"Who are you?! And where did you come from?!"

"I am...the part of you that is, and will be, in all that we are..."

Hello Lab!

The voices are becoming louder and the cries ever more commanding. I hear them and I am working the best I can to whip myself into some kind of respectable shape and take back my claim to authorship.

So, I have been signaled to action from the Lab's headquarters. There has been much waking from many deep slumbers and now the drowsiness is fading and the challenges of the day are dutifully materializing before my conscience in their daily summons to contest.

No fear, Secret Laboratory! Power down the Bat Beacon, John.

John. John? Wherefore art thou? Come quickly and hear ye: The Lab is scheduled to receive a bright and refreshing burst of content! I have plans for at least one new category: Network Security

In the recent weeks I have become familiar with penetration testing software such as Backtrack and Kali Linux. These are Linux based Operating Systems that are used by network security professionals for white hat constructive hacking; and network exploiting operators for black hat destructive hacking. Writers of Secret Laboratory are free to show interest in this new category if you so choose. I will be producing content regarding how to crack WEP/WPA/WPA2 wireless encryption and how to protect yourself from such attacks, for starters. It only gets interesting from there.

For those of you interested in preparing yourself for this new world of fun and adventure, I recommend you go ahead and get the tools: Kali Linux
It can be downloaded at - http://www.kali.org/downloads/

The Secret Laboratory is in the grueling process of churning old gears and installing new ones to bring life into our world of journalistic comedy and tragedy. Sink or swim, this boat is headed out to sea.

I'm headed off to write a column now that the voices in my head have stopped...

But I can't seem to find John.

John?

Oh shit. Really? He's in the bathroom? Again? Geez, I'm glad I didn't have whatever he did. Must have been the pills. I'm glad I only had the purple ones...

"Hey John! Can you reach the mini fridge from in there? I think I need another beer!"

—Terencio Safford
Editor, Secret Laboratory
terencio@secretlaboratory.org

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EDITORIAL STAFF

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Publisher & Editor-in-Chief
John T. Schmitz

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Managing Editor
Terencio Safford

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Executive Editor
RJ Wattenhofer

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DEPARTMENTS

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Sports
Eric Melch, Senior Editor
Brandon J. Rompa, Reporter

National Affairs
Shane Lindemoen, Senior Editor
Tom Bullington, Correspondent

Women’s Affairs
Liliana Grace, Editor

Arts & Entertainment
Samantha Veldhouse, Editor
Tatiana, Correspondent

Home & Health
Michele Peterson-Rufener, Editor

Technology
Michael Nardine, Editor

Gaming
Josh Flaherty, Editor

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BUREAUS & DIVISIONS

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Contributing Editors
Debra A. Carroll
Patti Lynn Henry
Shar Martinez
Bob Newland

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West Coast Correspondents
Robert Martin, KE6YDO
Richard Martin, KE6RJI

Music & Film Correspondents
Lauren R. Thomas
Nicole Thomas

Love & Sex Expert
Nick Tschida

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Reporters
Harvey Crumb
Otto Kroona

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ABOUT US

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Secret Laboratory is an online entertainment magazine for Music, News, & Global Affairs; it is published in the USA by Maple Hills Press.

Secret Laboratory is a progressive publication that supports human rights and building a better future for mankind. We specialize in humor, satire, news analysis, and support indie authors. Maple Hills Press, a non-traditional publishing imprint, believes that all talented writers should have a platform for their work, whether it be on the Internet, in the eBook market, or in print.

We welcome your comments, questions, and suggestions; we also encourage writers to submit their work and for bloggers to re-publish their columns here. If you're interested in joining our team, please visit our Submissions Page.

Correspondence may be directed to:
editor@secretlaboratory.org

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