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Doormats and Matadors

subway sandwich

This ox-of-a-man at Subway steps up. He has a nose-ring big as a shoulder, hair tucked into his breast pocket. His work shirt reads: “Ron’s Towing.” Tense face, doesn’t want to screw up. Order Taker is good. Boom, boom, boom! What can I get you?…

Crime & Religious Affairs

A Market For The Rest Of Us?


Recently, many people have become aware that sites like Silk Road, Agora, and Pandora are places where you can get things such as crack, meth, heroin, and weed just as easily as you can get a pair of knock-off Gucci sandals on a New York City street corner–and this divergence of tastes has led some of us to the conclusion that the single-market model is failing the soft end of…

How Silk Road Saved the World’s LSD Scene


This is a story about a drug, LSD, which was brought back from the brink of obscurity (extinction?) by a darknet website and a fearless group of volunteers and vendors. I feel compelled to tell this story of a scene that is taking place in dorm rooms and flop houses across the country. LSD, the compound that recently celebrated the 75th anniversary of its synthesis, is something that most drug…

DPR, the Deep Web, and tracking the Coachella

Wanna buy some sugar?

I’ve been meaning to get this column out for days now, but shit just keeps getting in the way. Well, no more. There’s simply too much going on in the world, particularly when it comes to Silk Road and the Deep Web. Indeed. Those are topics that I’ve found myself focusing on lately … which is fine, since I’d rather write about the nefarious exploits of online drug runners than…

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Local Affairs

Seaside Park Fire Brings out the Best and Worst in People

The Funtown pier went up in flames Thursday afternoon

I flipped on the news at 6pm on Thursday and what I saw almost knocked me over. The boardwalk in Seaside Park was going up in flames. They were focusing on the sign in the picture below. It was called the Funtown pier and all the fun was being wiped away.   That part of the boardwalk had miraculously survived Hurricane Sandy, but even that small miracle wasn’t enough to…

MN has Voted No!!!!!!!!!

Voted NO

Congrats dear readers/my lovely flying monkeys, Minnesotans have voted no on both amendments. So now I, your gracious columnist, is not prohibited from marrying whoever I want and I don’t need to show a current ID to vote. So go you, dear readers! Star Wars has been sold, Barack Obama has been re-elected! Anything is possible  so please send me your problems and allow me to solve them.   Nick…